I bought a chicken the other day, as someone with a high vegan diet.

I was in the store stocking up on some food for the weekend, but did not want to get only bread and fat free cool whip.

At the checkout counter I bought a whole chicken. 6.99

I've made it last for 3 full meals so far, eating the marrow and the skin and the cartilage.

I ate almost a full loaf of bread I bought on Thursday night and a sleeve of cinnamon raisin bagels I bought on the way home Wednesday.

I am glad that I bought the chicken.

It saved me from another afternoon of going back and forth between peanut butter and oatmeal.

Last weekend I cried over 5 bowls of dry oatmeal with plenty of soymilk late on Sunday afternoon. I spooned peanut butter and chocolate soy nut butter into my mouth. Some cheese as well.

I had still made the decision to avoid meat.

However, I find that if I allow myself some meat, I do not gorge on fat and carbs as dramatically. It calms the crying.

I do not need a ton of protein, of that I am aware. I live a sedentary life for the most part. But having some B12 and Niacin and all of those things that I would otherwise need to supplement, allows me to feel a little more substance in myself. Gives me a barrier between myself and the world around me.

I am just trying to minimize the self abuse.

Allowing myself to be where I am.